Giving up on dating in London? Healthista spoke to reality TV star Sophie Stonehouse from Netflix’s Too Hot To Handle, on why you shouldn’t lose hope with regards to finding love
With the summer months quickly approaching, one thing is uncertain besides the sunshine – the way to navigate the dating pool in a busy city like London after months of winter hibernating.
That’s why Healthista caught up with the previous event manager turned reality TV star Sophie Stonehouse, 23, who didn’t hold back on sharing her best tips about dating in London and the way to keep going even after heart break or rejection.
Netflix’s Too Hot To Handle gave the newly single Sophie Stonehouse a likelihood to search out a connection within the Turks and Caicos villa on the second season of the show. Yet the tide modified when her indecisive co-star Creed McKinnon decided to pursue one other solid mate unbeknownst to Sophie.
Californian-born British native is now in a blissful relationship with boyfriend Izak Lewis
Nevertheless the 23-year old quickly became a fan favourite when she left the show early, as her warm and positive personality was a transparent indicator of why fans supported her daring exit.
The Californian-born British native is now in a blissful relationship with boyfriend Izak Lewis since leaving the show.
Healthista asked directly from the source on the way to find love in one in all the world’s most populated cities since leaving the Netflix show, especially after facing rejection.
Here’s what Sophie needed to say…
Leaving a Long Term Relationship
Sophie’s bubbly yet mature persona gave off the impression of chatting to a best friend or sister, who clearly had some experienced relationship advice for under being in her early 20s.
The Too Hot To Handle star revealed that before entering the villa, she had been in a five 12 months relationship that looked as if it would have been the source of her evolved outlook on love.
Sophie openly shared that the connection together with her ex-partner was very intertwined and felt more like an obligation to remain, despite growing apart for quite a lot of years towards the top.
one reason why people don’t leave is because they’re so comfortable
‘A variety of people struggle to get out of those relationships, like whether you’ve been in them from a young age or whether it’s an adult relationship,’ explains Sophie.
‘I feel one reason why people don’t leave is because they’re so comfortable and it’s such a scary thing to do.’
Sophie went on to clarify how comfortability in her relationship led to an absence of sexual chemistry, despite having love for her ex. Inevitably the pair split – yet the chance to search out love was on the horizon when Sophie received a call in regards to the show casting.
‘Enough time had passed by because the break up to form of like emotionally get over it and realise I used to be able to be like ‘is she having her redemption era?’ Yes. She is.’
So best advice in case your contemplating a long-term relationship, is all the time follow your gut. If it doesn’t feel right, then in keeping with the Netflix star, it probably isn’t.
Lonely London
It could actually boil right down to the incontrovertible fact that dating within the UK is way different than in places like say, the US, as Stonehouse points out. To place it into numbers – the common age of people that get married within the UK is 31, in comparison with the US on the earliest age of 25.
Could or not it’s the fee of living difference, or something else?
Sophie suggests it may very well be as a result of the religious differences in each countries, as having family within the US she has seen them fall into marriage at a much younger age.
Despite this, Stonehouse points out that our generations have moved right into a non-traditional role where individuals are having kids and living together before they get married, which she says is the fashionable day way of life.
You don’t have to get married before you’ve gotten kids
‘It’s not so stereotypical anymore, you don’t have to get married before you’ve gotten kids,’ states Sophie.
‘As well, we’re in a generation where so lots of our parents aren’t together anymore – it’s very rare that you just hear of somebody’s parents being together.’
Stonehouse confesses that she’s terrified to get married, not necessarily for the act of it, but to fall out of affection with someone after tying the knot.
‘Relationships are one of the best and worst things to have, there’s all the time some form of sacrifice you’ve gotten to make – whether that’s time for yourself or your pals – like every thing else in life, there are all the time positives and negatives.’
So far as dating in London, Stonehouse points out that London has been classified because the ‘loneliest city on this planet’, despite a population of just about 9 million.
This leaves room for daters in London to have an excessive amount of selection, making it easy for men and girls to maneuver to to the subsequent smartest thing if their date doesn’t ‘tick every box’.
Yet on the positive side, London can also be one of the vital multicultural cities, rating on the top 10 cities on this planet for diversity.
In other words, although the large city could make you are feeling small, London boasts multiple opportunities and possibilities for meeting recent people should you put yourself on the market.
Attracting the Unsuitable One
Before appearing on Too Hot To Handle, Sophie admits that she wasn’t searching for anything serious, but hoped that she would meet someone who may change her mind.
Stonehouse points out that realistically on these kind of shows, once you meet someone who lives half way the world over, it’s pretty clear that the connection won’t last.
Since leaving the show, Sophie says her views on dating haven’t really modified. She confesses that even before happening the show, she admittedly was dating the unsuitable kind of men who would treat her poorly, probably because she knew she didn’t want anything serious and neither did they.
Don’t compromise your personal needs for somebody who isn’t investing the identical time into the connection or situationship
Meaning – you attract the identical kind of energy that you just put out. In the event you’re looking so far someone seriously but the opposite person will not be on the identical page, it’s likely that you’re going to find yourself wasting your time with them or worse, get your heart broken.
So far as being on the show, Sophie shares that co-star Creed McKinnon exuded one of these energy, as she says she felt misled and barely manipulated into believing he was only pursuing her. Which in point of fact, happens so much in dating in real life.
Sophie’s advice? Don’t compromise your personal needs for somebody who isn’t investing the identical time into the connection or situationship as you’re – and only date when you find yourself fully able to. Otherwise the one that you find yourself finding won’t be someone you whole heartedly align with.
‘Even if that takes me years and years and years, then tremendous,’ says Sophie.
‘I’m not entertaining one other relationship or am going to alter my mindset when it comes to what I’m actually searching for until I find someone I actually like.’
Tinder or Hinge? Or… Neither?
Sophie has now hard launched her current boyfriend onto her Instagram, revealing that she is in a blissful, healthy relationship with partner Izak Lewis.
Even though it took a while after the show to search out her better half, Sophie reveals she met him on a dating app. Yet after months of talking, Sophie admits that seeing one another in person was obviously higher than speaking online.
my advice with dating apps is give the folks that you’re chatting to a chance, but meet in person should you can
‘I feel it’s very difficult to speak with people online and really understand who they’re, what they’re about and you recognize, it’s tough,’ explains Sophie.
‘So my advice with dating apps is give the folks that you’re chatting to a chance, but meet in person should you can – just watch out ladies.’
But Stonehouse points out that even on dating apps, should you’re in a race to search out the right person, it’s not realistic because no one’s perfect.
‘If anyone could take any form of advice from what happened with me, I assumed my current boyfriend was weird and I didn’t like him in any respect once we were talking because he’s awful at texting, but once we met in person I used to be like ‘oh’, he seems lovely’.
She also added that texting is something that folks shouldn’t all the time look so deeply into.
‘I feel it’s easy to think that everyone is in the identical situation you’re in,’ Sophie explains.
‘So, if someone’s not responding to you and also you’re probably not doing that much, it’s just very easy to quickly assume that the person is just not focused on you when actually they’re probably just busy.’
Sophie’s Top Dating Suggestions:
#1 Its OK to be single
Sometimes the pressure of getting a partner once you see everyone else around you in couples gives a false desire of truly needing one, and may result in unhealthy relationships.
‘I feel once you’re meant to be in a relationship and once you’re meant to be with the best person, it’s going to just occur naturally. I forced the connection with my ex because I felt like I needed a boyfriend,’ Sophie admits.
Get off the dating apps, exit, meet people, chat to people
#2 Don’t hold back from entering your bad chick era
We live in a society that has fundamentally deconstructed the standard norms of previous generations.
Women are empowered to be comfortable in owning their independence, and never feeling pressured to succumb to getting married or having kids at any particular age.
There’s something to be said about having the liberty so far who you wish whilst having fun with university, your profession, and your pals. As Sophie says, ‘we live vicariously thorough you.’
#3 Get off the Dating Apps
Although Sophie met her current partner on Hinge, she says to go old style.
‘Get off the dating apps, exit, meet people, chat to people – be present and get off your phone,’ Sophie advises.
Dating apps offer us an excessive amount of selection, making it easy to spend countless hours swiping left and right on individuals who won’t meet your specific dating criteria.
Nevertheless the problem with that is that you just are setting those people on the opposite find yourself for failure from the beginning. Who knows, possibly you’ll give them a likelihood should you had actually met in person first.
Point in case – ‘The real folks that you desire to meet won’t be satisfied at home on their phone. They’ll be out, talking to people. How on Earth do you expect to all the time find them in your phone?’