Home Women Health spot a sexual predator – the 8 characteristics

spot a sexual predator – the 8 characteristics

spot a sexual predator – the 8 characteristics

We ask therapist Leonie Adamson from the video counselling app Dr Julian learn how to spot the signs of a sexual predator 

Harvey Weinstein, 67, who was once some of the powerful producers in Hollywood, has been found guilty of sexual assaults, including rape.

Around 80 women, including well-known actresses Gwyneth Paltrow, Uma Thurman and Salma Hayek had accused him of sexual misconduct.

The allegations of sexual assault and harassment against Harvey Weinstein began in 2017, fuelling the present eave of the #MeToo feminism movement.

Weinstein was convicted of third-degree rape and first-degree criminal sexual act in Latest York City yesterday, twenty fourth February 2020 – a victory for the #MeToo movement.

He was cleared of essentially the most serious count though, of predatory sexual assault but faces as much as 25 years in prison. Weinstein still faces charges in Los Angeles of assaulting two women back in 2013.

After the decision was announced, reports have said that Weinstein was taken to Latest York’s Bellevue Hospital as he was affected by chest pains.

Writing for the Latest York Times, Hollywood darling Salma Hayek described her story of assault, degradation and harassment by the hands of the director.

Her story traced the sexual advancements, the sweet talking and even the death threats. ‘I’ll kill you, don’t think I can’t,’ she alleges he told her. At its worst, Hayek was forced right into a sex scene with one other woman to avoid being kicked off the film, Frida – a movie she had spent years researching and preparing for. This scene left her crying and convulsing as she had a nervous breakdown, ‘I needed to take a tranquillizer, which eventually stopped the crying but made the vomiting worse.’

Salma Hayek penned an article for The Latest York Times alleging abuse by the hands of Weinstein

And he or she’s not alone, in an Instagram post, Cara Delevigne has described feeling ‘powerless and scared’ within the face of Weinstein and the number of girls alleging abuse (including rape) rises each day. Gwyneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie, Asia Argento, Ashley Judd, Rose McGowan, Rosanna Arquette and plenty of more are among the many women who’ve come forward.

But Weinstein isn’t the one offender. Ex Harrods boss Mohammad Al-Fayed got here under the highlight last week as women got here forward to talk out on a Channel 4 Dispatches show about how the businessman forced himself on them. One woman was as young as 17. Al-Fayed hasn’t commented on the show but has denied allegations of sexual assault and rape prior to now and no charges have been brought.

In the sunshine of recent events, it’s timely to uncover just who a sexual predator is, in each straight and same sex relationships.

spot a sexual predator

‘They’ll wield a variety of control and power’, says therapist Leonie Adamson who has 10 years clinical practice who specialises in sexual abuse. ‘But essentially the most interesting thing to think about is why they don’t stand out from the gang. Often people will speak about them being creepy or lecherous, but with none substantive information, there isn’t any real proof. Some people will know only too well what they’re able to, similar to the celebrities which have come forward about Harvey Weinstein, but won’t wish to “rock the boat”, perhaps frightened of any repercussions this may occasionally have on them.’

Using words and actions, the predator will undermine her every move

‘I even have counselled many ladies who’ve experienced sexual trauma. They’ve been emotionally scarred, lost their sense of identity, and live with the experience each day’, says Leonie.’It starts with the cycle of abuse and in a short time becomes a nightmare, from which there isn’t any escape. Using words and actions, the predator will undermine her every move, dictate every thought and in the long run, he can have ultimate power and control over her on a regular basis life.

‘In lots of cases, victims weren’t believed, and this has caused them further distress. In some cases, they’ve come from abusive families themselves and their sense of self-worth is so low, that they feel they should be treated badly. Nonetheless, since the sexual predator flourishes in silence and covert behaviour, the mask should be uncovered to assist free victims from this abuse. Their voices should be heard and revered. All the time.’

1. He’s really attentive within the early stages


Within the initial stages of the connection, the preparator shall be very attentive. A number of calls and texts which seem quite innocent. This doesn’t mean that they’re a predator, but when it continues and intensifies then they’re worrying signs. That is how the perpetrator begins to construct the strategy of dependency of the victim. They shall be very much the reply to their dreams, a knight in shining armour, and will surely never hurt them. They’re being protected, loved, respected, and are the main focus of the predator. That is the start of the grooming process. The perpetrator will use their loyalty, and vulnerability against them at a later stage.

2. He uses manipulative language

The element of gaslighting shall be slow but fastidiously introduced, whereby the predator will mock the victim on her clothes, friends, or anything which doesn’t meet his expectation. When the victim challenges the predator (within the early stages), he’ll lie, twist the data, make her feel like she is the bad person, state how hurt he’s, and that he doesn’t deserve this type of treatment. In spite of everything he has been so good to her. Ultimately, emotionally exhausted, and feeling very stressed she’s going to relent and accept that it was all her fault and apologise. This shows the predator that he can control and manipulate her, with none fear that she may challenge him.

3. He makes it seem normal


The victim has now normalised the behaviour and feels that perhaps that is what she is deserves. This cycle of abuse has now begun, the initial honeymoon period is over, the uncomfortable feeling that something was improper is now clearer and the “explosion” where the predator makes his move is now a reality. This pattern will start with emotional and psychological abuse and ultimately include sexual abuse.

4. He plays the victim

There’s an actual sense of grandiose behaviour related to this type of man. Never taking responsibility and all the time playing the victim. This type of cool indifference may be very much like narcissism, but again not all narcissists are sexual predators. They are going to use coercive control to get the victim to play the deadly game of cat and mouse and can all the time blame her for what goes improper, or if she refuses will degrade her in whatever way he feels is mandatory to show her a lesson. Women who’ve experienced sexual abuse as a toddler are perhaps more vulnerable to such a grooming and shall be re-traumatised in consequence.

5. He ridicules her

A sexual predator can have no consideration for her thoughts and feelings, as a substitute specializing in himself. He shall be making sexual comments to her, commenting on her performance, isolating her insecurities to make use of as bait later. Needing to know every detail about her past experiences can be an indicator. The predator can then ridicule her using degrading language to her and using words that insult and belittle her.

6. He pushes her boundaries sexually


He can have no respect for healthy boundaries, all the time needing to push you to perform tasks which usually are not comfortable for you. He’ll get an enormous kick out of this, and is prone to be vigilant in his approach, whatever the victims fear and anxiety. There might be suggestions of dangerous sexual behaviour, during which the victim engages with other men and the predator watches. He’ll then use this to blackmail her later, and that is the beginning of the cruel aspect of the behaviour, where the victim will feel totally humiliated and trapped in the connection.

7. He disempowers her

All of the while he shall be assuring the victim that the behaviours are okay, and that he loves her. He’ll attempt to normalise her distress and tell her that she has done it before and can again. That folks now know that she is promiscuous and that she is lucky that he stays along with her. All feeding into the destruction of her confidence, which can disempower her. Overwhelmed and lonely, she has no family to seek advice from, and he can have isolated her from any friends who could have helped. They were a threat to him, they might have seen behind his mask, and influenced her. So, they’d to be eradicated sooner quite than later.

8. He secretly boasts about his conquests

Finally, a sexual predator will boast of his conquests and make the victim feel less of a girl as he describes his other relationships. Reliving the connection, and knowing he’s causing distress, he needs a response to fuel his game. He can have no concept of what is acceptable if he just isn’t inconvenienced in any way. He shall be a distinct person to the surface world, which just negates anything she says about him – his mask never slips.

What now?

Should you are feeling that you could have been or are in a relationship with a sexual predator, please don’t be afraid to talk up. Seek support from relevant organisations similar to Women’s Aid, Refuge and Rape Crisis Centres who will keep the data in confidential manner. Web sites similar to rightsofwomen.org.uk can allow you to negotiate the law and your rights in coming forward.  Talk openly, it would be difficult as its very personal. But it surely’s step one to coming to terms with this abusive relationship and the beginning of the healing process.

Ensuring you could have a security plan in place is vitally essential if the connection continues to be ongoing. Predators are very in tune to any subtle changes in the connection, and can know if something has modified in the connection dynamic. Gather as much information as possible, and think about using legal provisions, because the predator is not going to want to simply accept the connection is over and will increase his campaign accordingly. Make note of any correspondence from the predator, but don’t reply to it. Do not forget that this just isn’t your fault and you’ll be able to be freed from the predator.  Be consistent, strong and have your voice respected.

Leonie Adamson, How-to-spot-a-sexual-predator-the-8-characteristics-therapy-by-healthista.comLeonie Adamson is a therapist on the Dr Julian App, which has been arrange to enhance accessability to counselling support. You may book and have appointments with qualified counsellors similar to Leonie (£60 per hour) via secure video link from the comfort of your house. Download the app onto your iphone/ipad via the Apple Store.

Leonie has worked with organisations similar to Women’s Aid and Rape Crisis with vast experience in domestic violence, stalking and abusive relationships.


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